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Are you a bit of a tool, but perhaps just a little too tolerable a person to get noticed? Do you ever suspect that you lack the requisite level of douchiness to succeed in the business world?

Perhaps you should consider joining UpMo, the self-proclaimed "GPS [for] Your Career!"¹, and the first social network to foster obnoxious behavior not out of naivete or poor design, but as an express part of its mission statement. To this end UpMo offers an "emulation engine", by which you will be able to "add to your repertoire the tangibles and intangibles your UpModel used to further his or her career". Another key feature: the "Network Readiness Evaluator", which will tell you whether or not your loser friends make you look good by comparison.

The whole thing is a great idea, but hardly a forward-thinking one in times like these. Luckily, and as it so happens, Total Shite is currently seeking venture capital for our new software-as-service networking and personal development tool, Ratatui, which teaches you how to be the one to catch the last rat.

^{1. Also trademarked, and thereby hopefully innoculated from regular use: The Networking Habit™}

"Multiple parallel packet routing. Ten times the usual nodes. Whoever sent this is trying very hard to cover their tracks."
   -- Computer expert, Fringe

Some Canadian guy (emphasis mine):

Not only am I pissed off because we're losing some great functionality that I used on a daily basis, but also because it tarnishes my view of Google, which up until now, I believed could do no wrong. Well, you did wrong Google. You really fucked it up on this one. As I was discussing with someone on Twitter, more people need to get angry about this and they need to create some visible public outcry.

As I was discussing with someone on Twitter, if whiny Apple users* took all the energy they spend daily complaining about changes to their favorite web service or some guy in customer service hurting their feelings, and displaced it onto human rights campaigning or a similarly noble pursuit, there would be no more genocide or other ugliness on God's green Earth.

* Ditto people who spend their time complaining about whiny Apple users on their blogs and/or Twitters.