Stumble It!
Digg It!
It starts with the occasional guilty Red Bull and ends with 5 Hour Energy shots on the hour. Pretty soon you're shaking too much to buy a latte and find yourself doing odd jobs around the bodega in exchange for a couple cans of guava-flavored Potencia.
But not to worry, there's an antidote. With the slogan "slow your roll", "Drank" contains rose hips, melatonin, and valerian root, three herbs that would normally put you straight to sleep were it not for a healthy balancing dose of high fructose corn syrup. The net effect of this "Extreme Relaxation Beverage", which tastes of Manischewitz spritzer and is no less kosher, is a lot like that of the really weak codeine you bought your freshman year and soon discovered was store-brand aspirin restyled with a nail file.
5/5
