Crime: December 2008 Archives

Once I went to Montreal and it was terrifying. The place is full of thug rappers like this:

I recommend that Canada and all other countries which hope to avoid the scourge of gangster "culture"* immediately ban the practice of referring to municipal services by their initials. Imagine 50 Cent having to repeatedly enunciate the words: "New York Police Department, Los Angeles Police Department, You a motherfuckin' snitch, huh?" Like the practice of disemvoweling, this would take all the bite out of Mr. Cent's hateful anti-cop lyrics without impinging upon his unfortunate right to say what is on his mind.

Perhaps if my policy were already in place, innocent Canadians would no longer be afraid of riding the TTC (or should I say, afraid to "get on the Toronto Transit Commission, get on the Toronto Transit Commission...)"

Wouldn't be so catchy then, would you Randal Paul?

Breaking news update: Responding to pressure, the gentlemen-rappers have removed the word "fag" from one of their lyrics. Meaning that Canadian rap suffers from the dual scourges of gangsterism AND political correctness gone amok.

* Please do note that I put "culture" in quotes here, this is because culture properly understood is the opera, discrete use of non-rock cocaine, music written by Nazi sympathizers, and the company of the sort of women that gentlemen like myself might befriend on LateNightShots.

Video was Tagged: Entertainment, On, Kanye, Jeezy, Put, West, toronto, funny, Young, Got, TTC, comedy, Randal, transit, Paul