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In addition to making excellent pianists, hamsters often display considerable talent on the golf course.
Longtime readers of Total Shite will know that we have been following the Hamster on a Piano story from day one. Now it seems a new twist has been thrown our way - allegations of hamster abuse directed at the small rodent's owner, who remains unnamed.
Hopefully if these allegations (namely: that the popcorn was buttered, and that butter is bad for small rodents) are true, the owner will be brought to justice. Hamster/piano owner: please come forward and clear the record. Was the popcorn, as per PETA accusations, buttered? Or popcorn au naturele, perhaps? Did you use I Can't Believe It's Not Butter and/or margarine?
The News Team would also appreciate some expert opinions regarding the safety of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter or margarine for hamsters (and salt, personally we can't stand popcorn without salt). And from philosophers and bioethicists: If the popcorn does shorten the hamster's life span, is this offset by any accompanying improvement in quality of life?
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