November 2008 Archives

The gays were all up in arms about eHarmony.com's heteros-only policy, and recently succeeded in forcing it to open up a separate same-sex service. So what to make of an interracial-couplings only site?

Concerned, flag-loving white Americans should note the comforting fact that the organizers have to charge white women a small fraction of the rate they charge men, suggesting that, even under President Obama, our women have not yet been sufficiently brainwashed to jump into just any ebony arms -- at least, not without a significant discount.

"Oswald was a fag."
-Moogle23

As Deepak Chopra told me over dinner last night, "the problem with this awful fucking nightmare of a planet...is that there's just too much negativity." That's why Total Shite sometimes takes a break from posting terrible (or merely lukewarm) things and attempts to highlight the couple examples of sheer genius* that emerge from our disgusting culture every leap year or so.

Here are some important works that will hopefully dampen the contempt that future archaeologists feel towards us when they discover Youtube:

• A cartoon about paying for things with spiders
• A show about "pirates" who risk their lives by traveling to the middle of Antarctica to harass and throw things at Japanese whaling ships
• Animated "Get Your War On" cartoons
• Cat in a bottle
• 2 Pumpkins 1 Cup (this list went downhill pretty fast...may G-d rain fire down upon us all)

* "Shear Genius" is not one of these (note the spelling).

Unfortunately, the prediction reported in the article "CATS CALL ELECTION FOR MCCAIN!", which appeared earlier in these pages, was false. Here is the actual outcome of last night's historic election:

Drudge Report, circa 11:10 PM EST

As I told my friend at the Sunshine's Eisenstein retrospective last night, you really haven't seen "Driver Crazed Out of His Skull on PCP" if you saw it without Finnish subtitles:

New research (specifically: "Sleeping outside the box: electroencephalographic measures of sleep in sloths inhabiting a rainforest," Rattenborg et al. 2008) shows that sloths in the wild actually only sleep 9.6 hours/day, in contrast to the reported 15 hours/day of captive sloths. Also it is the first time someone managed to hook up an EEG machine to a wild sloth, which is an awesome accomplishment. In any case, here's an interview with Alexei Vyssotski, part of the team that conducted the sloth-EEG'ing:

Developing...