October 2008 Archives

Flash of Genius (aka "Windshield Wipers: The Movie")
Imagine if Erin Brokovich were a windshield wiper inventor rather than a class-action paralegal, and that she litigated patents instead of helping families suffering from chemical-related illness. Also, she doesn't receive any death threats, but her significant other does experience stress-related psoriasis, and this is a strangely emphasized part of the plot. Yes, it is no stretch to say that this is probably the most interesting thing ever committed to film.
PRO: Surprisingly faithful to New Yorker article it was based on.
CON: New Yorker fucking boring.
Midnight Meat Train
Imagine if Erin Brokovich were a male photographer seeking to capture haunting images of a generic crime-ridden American city. Naturally, she (he) stumbles into some particularly awful and disgusting shit. Not to give anything away, but a midnight meat train figures prominently in said awful and disgusting shit. So do the piss-poor acting skills of the girl who plays Shannon in Lost, another guy my girlfriend says is in some other show, and the star of the movie, who might have been on Dawson's Creek or something like that. Teaching these people to be actors would be a tall order, so it's hard to blame Ryuhei Kitamura, who does deliver some awesome heads-flying-about, picking of scabrous lesions with a razor, etc.
PRO: Very faithful to title and to Clive Barker story it was based on; pretty good for a horror movie.
CON: Title is "Midnight Meat Train"; Silence of the Lams, Night of the Hunter, or The Exorcist this is not.

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